local anaesthesia is *so* cool...

i know that's a scalpel touching my face.

i know that's an incision being made.

i know that's my own blood spilling onto my cheek.

i can't see anything but the green, sterile towels that are meant to shade all but the area he has to work on. i hear metal on metal as instruments are lifted from the surgical table and put back down. it's time to lose an old companion. it's time to free it from the residence it's taken up next to my right eye for the past 5 years.

but it's not going to go peacefully.

this pulsing, yellow bulb has put down roots. roots that need to be snipped. and i can feel him snipping. can feel the roots giving way to the scissors(?). hear the fleshy holds this unwanted companion has in the tissue below my epidermis pop as they are severed.

but i can't feel the pain of any of it.

and when i do, i get hit with more local. my blood collects in my ear as he prepares the needle. i try to realize/not realize what's going on, all at once. i try to watch with my mind's eye and experience it, all at the same time. i wonder what i look like with my skin wide open and this yellow marble protruding from the wound.

i suppose i'll just have to imagine.

and be grateful for local anaesthesia.